I don’t want a perfect life; I’d settle for a happy one

By April 6, 2017Uncategorized

“We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it to our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.”

                                                         (Milan Kundera)

What is happiness anyway? It has been amply written about, analysed, debated, and yet, the answer doesn’t seem to be any clearer. Our culture seems to be obsessed with happiness. We are in its constant pursuit, and just when it appears to be within our reach, we realise that there is still something missing…

To be more precise, what do we women need to be happy? To be pretty and have a perfect body? But according to what authority? To have a husband? Children? Money? A good job? Or not having to do anything? The list could be quite long. And as soon as we reach one goal, the situation changes and new challenges make us go for another round.

In crucial moments in life, we tend to ask ourselves what it is we really want from it, where we’re headed, where to go next.
This has happened to me. I tried to revisit the ghosts of the past and deal with whatever has gone wrong. The past cannot be changed. And yet, if we could change something in our lives, in or on ourselves, what would it be?

A few days ago, maybe last Friday evening, I met a girlfriend in a local bar and we talked about life. About our friends, children, former and future lovers…

“What part of me would I change? My character. I wish I was a bitch. I wish the stupidity and primitivism didn’t bother me. I wish I could tread on other people’s toes with a smile instead of being the one who suffers their cruelty. Struggle for survival has made me go uphill, but it has also filled me with fear, it has numbed me to a point. If I was a little different, maybe I’d finally meet a normal guy. I can’t remember the last time someone asked me out. Look, it’s Friday, and the only man who’s shown any interest in seeing me again was the shoe repairman: bring your shoes tomorrow at 8 am, and they’ll be as good as new by noon, no worries! So, when and how will I ever meet someone? By the way”, she added, “why are we sitting in the shadow, let’s move over there, we are invisible here…“

We didn’t move. I don’t believe in such strategies: put your makeup on, curl your hair, pretend you’re having loads of fun, order a cocktail and paint your nails, hoping to attract some desirable attention.
Anyway, is that really happiness? To be in a relationship, any relationship at all? I know so many couples who are absolutely miserable, so no thanks.

And what about me? What would I change? Now that I’m asking…
I used to believe there’s time for everything. I would change that. In fact, there is no time. Whenever we think there’s no hurry, that we have our whole lives ahead of us, that tomorrow or the next year we would actually do something about something – time is already up.
So, whatever it may be you want to do, don’t procrastinate. Do your best to make your wishes come true. That, I’m sure, is already a huge leap towards finding happiness, whatever it is to you.

People say that life is like a movie: you make up an ending and work your way towards it.

 

 

 

 

 

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